An Arresting Night

The school year before last I got arrested on a night out, nothing major no cuffs or anything but I did end up staying in a cell for 10-11 hours. The night started off nicely, my brother had come to my Uni for the first time (Hasn’t been back since haha) and there was a nice sized group of us. We began the night at the student union bar, 90’s night, meaning 90p a pint how could we resist? From there its a LITTLE hazy, I know we got turned away from one club for being a little loud on approach but we got in to the next one where we were familiar with the door staff. Everything was good inside, had a great time and then left at closing, we decided to walk home which is where it all went wrong haha. Next to the club there is a small building belonging to a charity, as we walked past I was VERY lightly tapping the windows, I used to do it as a kid, one tap on each window thinking nothing of it. But now I have a ring, a diamond ring given to me as a present, which fucking caught the 3rd window causing it to break. A small window let me add. No one ran from the scene, it was an unfortunate accident at 2am in the morning, nothing we could do, no alarms were going off or anything so we carried on. At some point very soon after we split into 2 groups with my brother, my housemate Rik, and I at the back. A police car pulls up and stops us asking me why I have my hand wrapped in a bandana, I say Ive cut it and its bleeding a little and Im on my way home to clean it up, not wanting to mention the window because it would bring more trouble than it was worth but I kinda knew they were there for that, and I got arrested for it. The bouncers called the Police and told them I had punched the window and that the whole group had run away. We were stopped literally within view of the club so I dont know how they saw us run off. The funniest part of this was that Rik was arguing with the police the whole time questioning why I was being arrested saying “Excuse me sir, where is the legality….” he was quite good haha, I was just sitting in the back of the car talking to another officer, she even asked me “Is your friend a lawyer?”.

Anyway I was taken to the station and booked in, the officer at the desk was a dickhead, he was asking me “yes/no” questions then said “Do you not have any manners young man?”, I gave him a very puzzled look, should I have been saying “Yes please” and “No thank you” even if it didnt make sense?. Because of that I was on the cusp of reading the rules and regulations book he offered me as he said I had to read it before going in the cell, just to piss him off but it was fucking large lol and I had to do it standing. He then asked if i had a lawyer to contact, I didnt so had to wait until morning to be interviewed when they could get me one.

So I get taken to the cell, shoes come off as standard, but then they asked for my jacket, T-shirt (I had on 2, they only wanted the first one) and jeans so they could be sent to the lab for forensic testing! WTF over a small broken window? So Im there in far too small prison trousers, they clearly never arrest anyone over 6ft, some plimsoles they gave me, a new blanket and a coffee. The door is shut, locked, and Im in for the night.

Luckily I was tired and somehow managed to sleep after about 3 hours in there. I had no worry at all over the whole thing which is maybe why I was able to sleep, I know they have more important things to do, arresting me was just procedure. 10-11 hours after entering the cell Im woken to be told Ill be interviewed in 15mins. A casually dressed policeman-woman came to collect me and we took a walk to where the lawyer was. Oh my days, dude was old as hell, hair coming out of his ears and nose like it was escaping and a fucking clump-foot (club-foot, whatever, you know the thing where you wear one big shoe), you couldnt make this shit up. He told me my options, say I didnt do it then go to court blah blah, or say I did and as it was an accident get a small fine. I went for the fine as it was quicker.

Next came the interview, it was with the casually dressed policman-woman, she was a nice lady. Pretty quick interview however the lawyer managed to fall asleep twice, as I said, you cant make this shit up. I went back to the desk to get my stuff only to be told it had been sent to the lab already, PISSED, took me 3 weeks to get my favourite jeans back. Luckily my phone and money etc hadnt been sent off so I was able to call a cab. I got home, showered, went out to eat with my housemates and then slept some more haha, the end.

PEACE